Gaius Julius Caesar Octavianus Augustus Divus Fili Princeps Primus [Aculeorum Albinorum]. Also known as "Augustus". Rome.

My name is Yurdle Oopendizzledoggin (You can call me Gok for short) and I claim Rexocloricaphallipitorious in the glorious name of Her Majesty.

Do we get to choose the species of our guys? I'd like both of them to be Daleks.

The country at least has to exist, and everybody is a human.

It's not a country. Duh, it's a planet.

Fine. I claim Antartica. With two researchers there that have Eskimo fleeces and laser guns. Nobody dares to invade, because the penguins are trained to attack.

I claim ancient Gaul, as Vercingetorix.

And yes, just to make it fair, we won't make any magic potion

My settler named Aeneas makes a city in the middle of a bunch of hills. Let's call it Rome.

My name is Ny-gas Drakir. I claim RUSSIA.

A thousand nations shall descend upon you!

My arrows will blot out the sun! and remove the shade!

(And Red, you should make it so that the more extreme we go, the more extreme and devastating the consequences are)

Can you cock laser guns?
Anyway, my soldier guy cocks his gun and shoots into the air, increasing the size of the ozone hole. Nobody is hurt, since the ozone hole doesn't do anything anyway. My other guy starts yodelling after he creates his igloo.

Oh my settler starts to gather resources and mates with the warrior. Yes the settler is a female. Together we will create a village.

T

How romantic.

My guys are guys, mmkay? Anyhoo, my warrior drills a hole under the ice and starts to take core samples from the rock underneath. For science.

They have some sort of research thingy in Civilization, rite? Well, dat's what I'm doing. And if anyone attacks, I'll throw snowballs at them. For science.

My civilization has grown tremendously, to a population of about 1,500. Two cities have been built. Putting together a task force called the Blind 626 to invade MOM4Evr's icy lands. Who can melt snowballs. For science.

MOM4Evr wrote:

How romantic.

My guys are guys, mmkay? Anyhoo, my warrior drills a hole under the ice and starts to take core samples from the rock underneath. For science.

They have some sort of research thingy in Civilization, rite? Well, dat's what I'm doing. And if anyone attacks, I'll throw snowballs at them. For science.

This isn't what I meant, but okay, feel free to go crazy guys.

i get mars!!!

I now own the Sun. I have a life-support home that protects me from the up-close radiation.

After digging around in the core samples, my team of two found an old, dead microorganism. A bacteria of some sort that caused the death of millions in the past, far more deadly than the Bubonic Plague. After genetically modifying diatoms, they were able to extrapolate the bacteria's DNA into a living form, and soon had a vial of the most deadly plague ever known to mankind. So old that nobody else knows about it, and so ancient that any resistance anyone ever developed to it is long gone. Of course, they also created a vaccine, and after applying it to themselves, burned all the data. They now have a vial of a disease that can wipe out entire armies in seconds. And they did it all for science! (Yes, Portal reference)

Next, they begin studying the art of training penguins. And teleports, just for a laugh. Yes, I did say training teleports.

Left earth and the milky way. I now own the Quadra Sector and all of its 5 planets and sun.

So yes, Russia is not completely abandoned, and the two cities I built are up for keeps.

Hold on, you say you can extrapolate DNA into living form? Then why haven't we brought back the dinosaurs?

*brings back the dinosaurs*

And now, civilization = dinosaurs and/or everyone is doing the dinosaur.

THE END, SOMEBODY LOCK THE TOPIC.

...but a lot of us are not even on earth o_O

My Roman warriors meanwhile conquer all of the Americas and Eurasia.

Research > Science (Spaceship).

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED ALBINO ROMAN.

*begins to research lvl 2 ship weapons*

crap need more vespene gas

I decide to take an afternoon walk on the sun.

It wasn't the best idea...

Meanwhile, my guys realize they aren't as good at genetic modification as they thought and the vial of chemicals turns into a giant monster who starts ravaging the planet, so they exit Antartica.

My team perfects their cloning device as they fly off to the nearby galaxy M87. Now there are millions of them. M87's, that is. They brought all the penguins, though, and the penguins call out something to the effect of "So long and thanks for all the fish!"

BTW, we're kind of close to how Civ works, right? I remember some cheat code in one of the games about a car. And galaxy transport is kind of like cars, right? We're just extrapolating a tad little bit.

My death count so far: 1 (The poor little diatom didn't survive the gene transcoding process)

You're confusing Civ with Age of Empires. No, seriously. Civ is a tbs, researching technologies takes many many turns and does not happen instantly. By the way, dolphins said that, not penguins.

Hey, if Civ is turn-based... is there some kind of web-based Civ? Like Advance Wars By Web?

(BTW, if anyone else plays AWBW, I'm up for a match.)

OKAY DEN!
*renames forum topic to "Age of Empires"*
LOLOLOL

My team researches black holes for forty thousand years (So there, time passes), and finally figures out how to use them as wormholes to transport them to parallel universes. They do so, and are never seen in this universe again. They seal the wormhole behind them so noone else can follow, but rumors state they conquered the parallel universe.

So there. You don't have to worry about my rapid-paced research anymore, eh? MOM4Evr out of the game, having not technically won and not technically lost.

In my galaxy, history was re-written that I conquered MOM4Evr in a short battle that lasted 3 minutes.

That doesn't make any sense, as crossing the event horizon of a black hole into a wormhole causes that moment to be locked in a fixed point in time that can't be altered by time-travel.

what? just because I re wrote history for my galaxy doesn't mean it actually happened. my citizens are gullible, yes.

I now own the universe. you all are my slaves. My plan worked!
http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2010/10/30/29696c80-e7eb-4e6...